In the beginning of our marriage, I worked at Target, in the infants department mainly. I used to buy a lot of clearanced items while working. My logic was that by the time we had kids, they would have some nice clothes, even if we didn't have much money.
I didn't hide this from any of my coworkers. All of them knew I was trying to get pregnant. One year, about 8 employees got pregnant at the same time. Of course, I wasn't one of them. After a few years, and no baby, the advice started to pour in.
Everyone considered themselves an expert on baby making. I would walk through the store, and other employees would stop me, and offer advice. Even the single people.
The advice that always made me laugh was "just don't think about it." I can't tell you how many times I heard this advice, and thought to myself, "are you kidding me!?"
I didn't understand it then, and I still don't get it now. How do you not think about the thing you want most in life? How do you have sex, and not think "this could be it." There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about being pregnant, or hope that I am. Every wish, every prayer, every fast is dedicated to me having children. I can't push it out of mind.
I didn't hide this from any of my coworkers. All of them knew I was trying to get pregnant. One year, about 8 employees got pregnant at the same time. Of course, I wasn't one of them. After a few years, and no baby, the advice started to pour in.
Everyone considered themselves an expert on baby making. I would walk through the store, and other employees would stop me, and offer advice. Even the single people.
The advice that always made me laugh was "just don't think about it." I can't tell you how many times I heard this advice, and thought to myself, "are you kidding me!?"
I didn't understand it then, and I still don't get it now. How do you not think about the thing you want most in life? How do you have sex, and not think "this could be it." There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about being pregnant, or hope that I am. Every wish, every prayer, every fast is dedicated to me having children. I can't push it out of mind.
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